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Itís What You Say AND How You Say It, Part 2 of 2

September 18, 2007

In Part 1 of this series, I introduced you to Announce It!, an online candy-bar-wrapper manufacturer that was seeking professional help with their search engine copywriting.  Facing an audience that consisted primarily of women who were purchasing favors for special occasions, Announce It!ís copy had to be spot-on with its communication.
The primary problems were that the copy did not convey a sense of excitement
or answer all the questions customers might have.  It also focused too
heavily on the company rather than communicating with the site visitor.

Letís see how the changes were worked into the copy and what the results
were.

 

The Rewrite

 

You can see the original copy and the revised copy in PDF format.

Headlines are one of the most important elements of advertising copy and of
search engine optimization.  The original web page didnít have any type of
headline ó a fundamental mistake that needed to be corrected.  The
introduction of the text now begins with using a keyphrase and stating a
benefit.  The headline reads:

Creative, Custom Candy-bar Wrappers
Designed To Make Your Event a Hit!

 

Since Announce It!ís keyphrases all deal with candy-bar wrappers, itís
obvious that visitors who find this site are already familiar with the
general product.  (At least to the point of knowing what a custom candy-bar
wrapper is.)  The question they still have is, ďWhy should I buy from
Announce It! instead of all the other candy-bar-wrapper sites?Ē

 

As the visitors read on through the copy, they find reassurance that their
idea of using custom-designed candy-bar wrappers is a good one. Visitors are
also provided with several benefits available from Announce It! that other
companies donít offer.  For the sake of scan-ability, bullet points are used
to further highlight differentiating factors about Announce It!.  (Low
minimum orders, free color proofs, free photo inclusion, etc.)  This all
helps to clearly explain why this site is the better choice over others the
visitor may have gone to previously.)

 

Because the product itself is graphic, it was important to retain the
product images used on the original home page.  Certainly, customers would
expect to see samples of the wrappers.  However, to create a greater impact,
each image was captioned with a short bit of occasion-specific, persuasive,
keyword-rich copy. 

 

For instance:

 

ďCustom candy wrappers are a truly
creative way to send your retiree
off in style.Ē

 

The finished product now speaks directly to the site visitor, sounds more
professional, outlines important benefits and uses keyphrases in an
appropriate way so as not to hinder the natural flow of the copy.

 

The Results

 

The results showed improvements in both conversions and rankings.  According
to Announce It! their conversion rate quadrupled!  They also report, ď[The
copy] has really made a difference in the way the site is perceived and how
the customer reacts. I have gone from a one-person operation to a
full-fledged business with five employees. The traffic and orders continue
to increase every year!Ē

 

You couldnít ask for much better than that!

 

Karon Thackston

Copywriting Course
Karonís Report