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I Hate My Job


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91 replies to this topic

#61 market seeker

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Posted 07 August 2003 - 10:45 AM

Market Seeker, on that point we agree--but my original point is that even without the big $$, I am extremely happy.  I'm not discounting how great the lotter numbers would be, I'm just saying that sometimes happiness isn't just being able to pay your bills --it's the people you surround yourself with and the happiness that is derived from that.

To an extent, we are saying the same thing, only differently! (I think) :aloha:

deb

You're 8 years younger than I am.

If you start now and read everything you can on this forum and others about SEO and business, make a good business plan and follow it. By the time you are my age you will not need the loto which with 3 kids you should not be playing anyway.

Now just think if you had started at 24 and not put all your apples in one basket. If you had started a business and made your own money. being able to pay bills by the year instead of by the month? Able to purchase anything you want for your kids, putting them in a private school if you wanted to. Not saying no I don't have the money when your kids come to you for a trip to europe with their friends.

I really hope you get my point

#62 deborah2002

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Posted 07 August 2003 - 10:48 AM

Hmmmmmmmmm....this is getting ugly.

The advice you gave Dragonlady insofar as planning ahead I totally agree with. I DO see your point as far as being broke sucking and I pretty much agree with that too. I THINK (although at this juncture I'm not sure) you are driving at the long term stuff where money is concerned--again, agreed.

I'm talking just the everyday, "brushing your teeth, looking in the mirror" thing stoli eluded to earlier. That's all.

Just for fun, I am the "other 50%" for divorce--infidelity.......and he was able to do the "other life" thing while married to me BECAUSE of the money.


I'm not to keen on the cyber sparring we seem to be engaging in, :aloha: because in a very weird way we are agreeing.

deb

#63 deborah2002

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Posted 07 August 2003 - 10:49 AM

As a side note, I DONT play the lottery--it was just an example

geez

deb

#64 dragonlady7

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Posted 07 August 2003 - 10:53 AM

>focus on doing the right thing> (jill)

Which is what I was trying to get at in the first place with my argument to balance money with love. Not just love of people. I know better than to hang my hopes on my boyfriend cooperating. I don't need him in order to complete my plans. Just, not having him would make it more difficult. So, love of your situation has to be added into there somewhere as being essential.

In jobs, friends, and mates you should go with what you love. I'm going to suggest that we take the word "money" and substitute "practical considerations", and we'll get a clearer view of what you're trying to say; "money" is too politically-charged a word. You have to always consider how you're going to pay for your food and shelter and entertainment and business necessities, and throwing those away for romantic love won't get you anywhere. But you also have to consider what makes you happy. Throwing away a person that makes you happy for a more lucrative job is upsetting the balance in the other direction. Throwing away a job you love for more money also upsets the balance.
You have to find a balance in the middle of it all. A place you like, doing something you enjoy enough to live on, earning enough to live on, with someone you get along with, is the perfect state of being, and one towards which we all probably strive.
I have someone I get along with, and earn enough to live on, but I don't really enjoy the place or the occupation. Those are things I should focus on changing but not to the extent that I lose the earnings and the person.
I classify money and love together in the same category: things I need. One is not more important than the other, but I cannot lose sight of either one because both are necessary.

#65 deborah2002

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Posted 07 August 2003 - 11:00 AM

Dragonlady, THANK YOU!

In a nutshell, more or less, THAT'S what I was trying to get across. :aloha:

deb

#66 qwerty

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Posted 07 August 2003 - 11:10 AM

I'll try to keep this short. I'm certainly not opposed to money. I'm 40 years old and I still live in a rented house that I share with two other people. It would be great to be able to buy my own place. It would be great to be completely out of debt, and I'm getting there. But money just isn't my #1 priority.

I grew up with money -- by most people's standards, lots of money. Both of my parents are children of immigrants and grew up under pretty squalid conditions. They were raised to believe that it was important for them to excel, both academically and financially, and they did. But I don't think it made them very happy. The money they made gave them a degree of security, but they never relaxed about it. They were always very careful about it, and worried about money all the time. It's only now that they're retired (and divorced from each other) that they're making efforts to enjoy themselves, and only my mother seems to feel the freedom that comes from her financial independence. My father, who has a young daughter, still worries about money all the time.

I also have a friend who's completely self-made and highly successful. She put herself through college and business school, and is now very high up in a very big multi-national corporation. She owns 3 houses -- nice houses, too. Her money allows her a good deal of freedom, but she works constantly and is probably away on business more than she's home. Her number one priority is her family, but she hardly ever gets to see them.

Finally, I'd like to mention three of my oldest and closest friends. We all met our freshman year of college, 22 years ago. All three are unbelievably smart. I hesitate to use the word "brilliant," but in the case of at least one of them, the label fits. All three of them had, at one point, high-powered, high-paying jobs, and they were miserable. They are now, all three of them, doing what they want to do, are earning literally a fraction of what they used to (in the case of one of them, her current income is about a sixth of what it was 10 years ago) and all three of them are happier than I have ever known them to be.

My point? Yes, I actually have one :rolleyes:

My point is that everyone's priorities are different. They're a part of your identity. Too many people look back on their lives with more regret than anything else. Some of those people regret concentrating on money, others regret not concentrating on it enough. If it's money that makes you "happy," then go for money. Each person has to decide what matters to them most, and each person has to examine that choice on a regular basis. If you made a mistake -- if you squandered your happiness on something you thought would make your life better and in hindsight you see things differently -- make a change.

#67 meta

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Posted 07 August 2003 - 11:33 AM

Talking on the phone won't break your employer but letting someone detail and make a mistake on a $300,000 car can hurt me. I don't tolerate anything that could hurt me financially.

market_seeker, did you read the whole message? It's not about me, but the clients. They have ideas that save lives, ideas that make money, ideas that reduce pollution. They are just full of good ideas, and some of their employers trust them and benefit from doing so.

Detailing is a high-priced word for cleaning. In this whole big world, you can't find a few people with good ideas on cleaning fancy cars?

#68 dragonlady7

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Posted 07 August 2003 - 12:14 PM

>Detailing is a high-priced word for cleaning.

No, it can also be painting and other customizing things... I'm not sure of the details, but those little hand-painted stripes all the way along the sides of expensive cars are mucho pricey and hard to do.

#69 market seeker

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Posted 07 August 2003 - 01:04 PM

market_seeker, did you read the whole message?  It's not about me, but the clients.  They have ideas that save lives, ideas that make money, ideas that reduce pollution.  They are just full of good ideas, and some of their employers trust them and benefit from doing so.

Detailing is a high-priced word for cleaning.  In this whole big world, you can't find a few people with good ideas on cleaning fancy cars?

Yes I did read the whole thing and I stand by what I said originaly. Owners and employees have a different way of thinking

I don't mean to offend anyone but I always seem to.

Call it what you will but I get over $100 an hour to clean a lambo or farari.
Being in Las Vegas I get alot of convention work where I can get $50 just for washing a car, 20 minutes. I would say thats kind of a high priced cleaning, wouldn't you? So the high priced word fits.

Dragon lady: thanks for the support I think you really do get it. Don't wait too long to do something like start a business. I just supported my wife for a year so she could go through massage training. Using my clients she's already making the bucks. Mabey your boyfriend will support you so you can start a business.

I just picked up a client that wants me to set up his hosting and email. Took me about 15 minutes for $200 cha ching

#70 market seeker

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Posted 07 August 2003 - 01:11 PM

As a side note, I DONT play the lottery--it was just an example

geez

deb

oh sorry, mabey a better example, imho would have been: starting a business and having the page counter go crazy on my checkout page

:rolleyes:

#71 market seeker

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Posted 07 August 2003 - 01:36 PM

Meta I like your site. I was dissapointed with the amount of content especially the history part. Let me know when you get that page finished.

#72 dragonlady7

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Posted 07 August 2003 - 01:41 PM

Hm... I think we all *almost* agree with market seeker, is the problem. :rolleyes:
You have to set your own priorities and be keenly aware of them when making your life plans.
However, I think you give too little credit to employees; I do very well for my company as it is and I would do far better for them if they would tell me what they wanted me to do, instead of making me figure out what they want so I can do what they want instead of what they tell me to do, because if I do what they tell me to, I'll enrage them because what they told me to do was entirely not what they needed done. That's just my example. Confused yet? I sure am.
So the quality of employees is severely limited by how well they're managed and motivated. If all any of them can ever think about is how to slack off, that might not be a problem that originates with them.

And on the other issue-- I'd say Deborah's doing just fine at sorting out her life! Perhaps it would be nice if she had started a business at 24 but then she wouldn't have learned the life lessons she has, and she wouldn't have her children. As Qwerty pointed out, you have to make sure you don't die regretting your life, and the only way to do that is to do what seems right at the time. If she hadn't married her husband, she would never have learned that he was Satan, and perhaps have spent her life pining for the man that might just have been Mr. Right, and wondering what life might have been like as a rich man's wife. My parents never started a business but now that they're older and my father has retired they seem to have just enough money to live as they please. My dad retired early and because he has fairly frugal needs, doesn't need to work except on his own projects now. My mother enjoys being a teacher and wouldn't know what to do with herself if she retired. Another ten years or so and she will. They're not millionaires. They're lucky to be thousandaires. But they have each other, they have their house, they have their hobbies, they have their children to be proud of. They have their priorities straight, in short.
Starting your own business isn't the only way to happiness. I plan on it because it suits my goals-- I want flexibility in my hours and location, and the ability to pursue what interests me. I may not find that in my own business, but at least I'll have the experience behind me, so I don't have any regrets.

#73 Ron Carnell

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Posted 07 August 2003 - 03:43 PM

Want to try a little experiment, market seeker? :rolleyes:

Strap a clear plastic bag over your head and tie it off at your neck. Wait forty-five seconds. Starting to notice anything yet? At about ninety seconds, two minutes tops, I predict you'll have a brand new definition of the one thing in this world that will make you the happiest. In fact, I'll bet you'd be willing to give away every penny you ever earned for a deep breath of plain ol' air.

You wouldn't be wrong, either, I think. Air can definitely make a person happy. Funny thing is, though, that once you have plenty of it, air no longer means quite so much to you. Heck, most of us don't even think about it for weeks on end. Someday, if you get your wish, you'll discover that money, like air, can only bring happiness to those who don't have it. You should read a little bit of Abraham Maslow and his Hierarchy of Needs.

It's a common mistake, I believe, to think of happiness as a destination, a place we can somehow reach if only [fill in the blank]. Happiness, I think, is more like a rest stop, those little islands peppered along the roads we travel from birth to death. When you find one, it feels good. For a while. Some of us get bored with the rest stop quickly, others will stay much longer, but very few people actually want to spend the rest of their life sitting in the same place. Too, some get kicked out. Their life changes, people change, and they find themselves ejected from the rest stop through no fault of their own. Doesn't matter. Sooner or later, every single person who stops to rest will eventually get back on the road. Looking, of course, for the next rest stop. It's human nature, and it hasn't changed in at least 5,000 years of recorded history.

I sincerely hope you enjoy your next rest stop, market seeker. But I guarantee you ... it won't last. :type:

#74 market seeker

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Posted 07 August 2003 - 07:34 PM

you make a good point, but right about now I'm feeling totally misunderstood.

#75 market seeker

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Posted 07 August 2003 - 08:52 PM

You should read a little bit of Abraham Maslow and his Hierarchy of Needs.

Thank you I read it.

I couldn't figure out though if you wanted me to read it because of my experience with employees

Or my belief that employees and owners think different. Either way I found it interesting.

To sum up my feelings on how an employee should be can be seen here.
Intrapreneur




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