Posted 26 November 2005 - 07:08 PM
This is going to vary a bit from one directory to another. Some of them are quite insistent on having the description be about the site and not the company, which can take some getting used to. It took me two or three explanations to see the difference on a site I submitted years ago. A directory like that is going to prefer a description like, "Lists the services offered by the company, such as telecom contract negotiations..." Of course, I'd need to see the site to know what the site itself has to offer, so that's just an example.
Apart from that, I'd get rid of the capitalization at the beginning of each phrase, I'd replace "You will receive" with "Offers", and I'm sure most directory editors would have a problem with "and our lowest rate guarantee". Keep in mind that it's not the company or the company's site "speaking" here. It's the directory, so it's not "our" lowest rate guarantee. On top of that, the whole phrase is an advertising spiel, and they're not going to accept that. You could try ending with "and a guarantee of their lowest rate," but I'd wager that would be deleted.