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Oi! Whas'a Chav, Then?
Posted 18 October 2004 - 12:28 PM
But I read somewhere that one of the princes (I don't know which -- royals all look alike to me) has become the Chav King! How is this possible? What does this mean???
Posted 18 October 2004 - 12:38 PM
OK BLING, TAT, cheap tat call it what you will.
Chav is scum that hang around on street corners, have sod all. Trailer trash. Satellite city. catalogue shopping buying on tick.
Everyone wears shell suits, then they wear Dryzabone copies, then they all wear FCUK shirts, they all drink out of bottles, and Burberry check is the latest victim. Kevs (Chavs) are all wearing Burberry baseball caps, while the Chavettes carry Burberry clutch bags.
Oh and I forgot to say, they all drive cars with more attachments than was on the original vehicle, have kids (and proud of it) before the age of 14, and in the UK, get paid a large wad of money everyweek, get given a property to live in, move in their boyfriends who also claim benefits (But at a different address, as single mothers in the UK get double family allowance)
And I could go on But I am in fear of being stoned to death lol
Posted 18 October 2004 - 03:11 PM
<You learn a lot from teenagers, and one word they use quite often is "chavs". This seems to mean, roughly, ignorant, inarticulate, drunken yobs. It's very snobbish, but it's also quite funny, and gives rise to a lot of jokes which are similar to, but subtly different from, Irish jokes or Scouse jokes.
Why are chavs like Slinkies? They have no real use, but it's great to watch one fall down a flight of stairs.
What's the first question in a chavs' quiz night? "Oo you lookin' at?"
Two chavs in a car, but no music. Who's driving? The police.
Or this: A chav walks into a jobcentre and announces, "Oi, I'm looking for work." The official says, "You couldn't have come at a better time. We've just had this in: chauffeur for a millionaire who needs his nymphomaniac twin daughters driving round in his Mercedes.
"Full board is included, and you have to accompany the girls on their many foreign holidays. The salary is £100,000 pa."
The chav says, "You're having me on!"
"Right," says the clerk, "but you started it." >
Posted 18 October 2004 - 03:31 PM
I found a few at the Sun, too, along with that article about Harry:
Q. What do you call a Chav in a box?
Q. If you see a Chav on a bike, why should you try not to hit him?
A. It might be yours.
Q. Whatís the difference between a Chav and a coconut?
A. Oneís thick and hairy, the otherís a coconut.
Posted 19 October 2004 - 04:55 PM
1.What do you call a Chav in a box?
2. What do you call a Chav in a filing cabinet?
3. What do you call a Chav in a box with a lock on it?
4. What do you call an Eskimo Chav?
5. Why are Chavs like slinkies?
They have no real use but it's great to watch one fall down a flight of
6. What do you call a Chavette in a white tracksuit?
7. If you see a Chav on a bike, why should you try not to run him over?
It might be your bike.
8. What's the difference between a Chav and a coconut?
One's thick and hairy, the other's a coconut.
9. What's the first question at a Chav quiz night?
"What you lookin' at?"
10. How do you get 100 Chavs into a phone box?
Paint three stripes on it.
11. 2 Chavs in a car without any music. Who's driving?
Posted 20 October 2004 - 07:35 PM
For the girls - typical defining features:
Multiple children conceived under 16, generally to different fathers.
Multiple scrunchies in the hair - these are an indication of their seniority with a gang. (more scrunchies the more senior).
Orange fake-tan face
Gravity defying coke-can fringe
Lots of cheap Elizabeth Duke jewellery
A penchant for shell suits / track suits (hence the phrase Kappa slapper).
Drinks of choice: Bellabrusco, White Lightning cider or anything cheap and strong they can get hold of (normally achieved by hanging around off licences and persuading passers by to go in and buy them something).
Couple of links
Are you a Charve?
Posted 21 October 2004 - 07:16 AM
Posted 21 October 2004 - 10:23 AM
No, just drunk.
Aftershock is a cinnamon flavoured schnapps type of drink. About 40% alcohol by volume if memory serves me correctly. Best avoided in my opinion.
Posted 21 October 2004 - 11:14 AM
I am just glad that I grew out of my mad dog 20/20 phase
Posted 21 October 2004 - 11:28 AM
I never got into those drinks -- Boone's Farm, MD, Schnapps. I don't see the attraction. Schnapps was my maternal grandfather's drink, and only on cold days, but it seems in the last 15 years or so it's become a big deal among frat boy types.
Of course, when I was in school, it wasn't just beer. Among my friends, there was a lot of Slivovitz drinking, and looking back on that, it seems pretty grotty.
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